Confidence

Okay, get ready for my first non-baby related post! This post is a product of thoughts and revelations that have been rolling around in my head for quite some time now. Enjoy!

First, a question: Do you like yourself? Like, really, when you consider the core of who you are – your personality, quirks, looks, likes and dislikes, preferences, etc… Do you see something you like or do you just feel the need for improvement all over?
And more importantly, what do you think God wants your answer to be?

The world is all about self- improvement. Make-up, dieting, working out, becoming more outgoing, becoming more introspective, becoming more educated and cultured, becoming a connoisseur of various music, wines, books…. Because if we just knew more and looked like her and were able to impress those people then we would not only be more happy but, more importantly, more likable. But, really, who are we fooling? It’s as if we think we are a form of a person, a shell, and its our job and mission to make ourselves into the ultimate person. That we have to prove ourselves to the world.

I used to believe this. To be honest, I didn’t use to really like myself. I didn’t wear my hair curly like it naturally is but rather would straighten it. One time in high school I took a personality test and, upon studying the results, I cried and felt his crisis within me. That thought everyone has: is this really me? Or is this what I want myself to be, or who I have created myself to be? Is it possible to create “me”?

I think these are common thoughts among humankind. Looking for a place to rest our being and finding nowhere stable. Not even within ourselves.

Children get it. They know how to be. For example. In kindergarten I was in a musical. I had a singing role in a song called “I’m Thumbody” and I was dressed as a Raggedy Ann doll . My solo was at the climax of the song. It was caught on tape and to this day you can watch me grab the microphone, go under the twirling ballerinas, march up to center stage in the spotlight with a humongous grin on my face and sing with as much gusto as any kindergartener could be words to the song: “I’m Thumbody, I’m one of a kind; I’m stwictly an original, no pwints are just like mine….” And applause breaks out as I hit the high note at the end of the song (admittedly, with a crack in my voice). They applauded because they saw something beautiful and praise-worthy: me being me, who God created me to be. A flower is most beautiful when it is opened up, fully displaying itself in all its glory. It’s vulnerable, but there is beauty in vulnerability. Even the world recognizes that.

Once you come to the realization that you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:2), the core of who you are has finally found its rest. Like a flower that finally finds the perfect place to be planted. And when the core of who you are finds its rest, hidden with Christ, then your life can really begin.

So what does this have to do with liking yourself? A better question is, what does my life being hidden with Christ in God mean for ME, a being created by God with mind, soul, body, and spirit? It means that you CAN be “all that you can be”, not by working at it or accumulating more knowledge or becoming an expert at what-have-you, but by finding life and fulfillment in Jesus and allowing yourself to fully become the God-reflecting human being that He has purposed for you. By finding enjoyment in the things God finds enjoyment in. This begins with liking who you are, because who you are is who you have been created to be. Yes, maybe you worry a lot and you don’t like that. But in Christ that’s not who you really are.

Confidence and being who you were created to be is made possible by your life being hidden with Christ -Christ in you the hope of glory. From there it must begin with liking yourself, agreeing with God that what he has made is very good. Rejoice with God as he rejoices over his beautiful creation with dancing and singing (Zephaniah 3:17). And be free. Be free of criticisms about yourself. Release yourself of disappointments and false expectations. Let negative things spoken over your life, personality, looks, and ideas fall away. And worship God for creating you the way he did. If we are able to worship God for our fajitas, how much more for his child whom he loves so much that he knows the number of hairs on her head?

Begin to really like yourself. For the glory of God. Rid yourself of fantasies that one day you might be like this person or achieve this goal or do that thing well. Those things might happen but YOU are complete without them. Because you are made complete and whole in Jesus. That broken, sinful, restless part of you has died. And your life is hidden with Christ. In God. That is something to be confident about.

You see, this is what the world really wants. At the end of the day I don’t think people want to have to “make” themselves. That is such hard work. People want to be themselves. But this can only fully happen in Christ. And once we are in Christ, we can finally get over ourselves and stop this constant struggle of figuring out who we are. And we can focus on Jesus and loving his people. We are FREE!!

And it’s beautiful. I am just beginning to learn and taste that kind of freedom. After years of trying to make myself, I feel like I have finally realized that I am at home in Jesus. So I’m settling in, getting to know Christ in me. And I’m free to host others that they might taste and see that he is good. Because I know where I belong. My citizenship is in heaven. A home that cannot be shaken or torn down or blown away by a tornado or any other natural disaster. So I live without fear… With confidence. And it’s lovely.

With confidence,
Molly

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8 comments

  1. Molly, without Christ many will find themselves striving after the wind. But not so you :)) Christ has moved in and you are fully embracing what it means to die to self and live to Christ.

    Keep thinking deeply and writing!!

  2. betharoberts · · Reply

    This is really good!
    I have a question, though. I don’t know if you know the answer… but how do you know the difference between someone just being like a “shy” person and someone who is too insecure to really be themselves in front of people? Are they just shy so they should love that part of themselves? Or is it insecurity? And when do you know there is a part of you that needs to be changed? Or that you need to stop trying to change a part of you? Does that make sense?

    1. Bethany: my take on shyness is that some people are introverts and some are extraverts. And that is great, we need both!! I think you can tell a difference between an insecure introvert and a confident introvert. Joey is a *perfect* example. He is definitely an extreme introvert and is pretty quiet around other people but I don’t think anyone could say he is insecure. He is actually very confident and secure in who he is. Do you see what I’m saying?

      As for your last question… Not exactly sure how to answer it but what I will say is that abiding in Jesus an living by the Spirit, not the flesh, helps clear those muddy waters. When the Holy Spirit brings something up in our hearts, we repent and choose to live out of our new nature, not the old. The key is that we are already made complete in Christ. So any time we have to “change” it’s really just us deciding to live out of who we really are.
      “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. The life I live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God…” Galatians 2:20
      “You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3

      Of course, it should be said that we are not complete in soul AND body. Our bodies will be made perfect and compete in heaven. But we have to believe that we really are seated at the right hand of the throne of God with Christ. So really I see it more as a constant journey into BEING, not becoming, who we are in Christ. I think that’s bold to believe but Thats what Christ died for.

      I don’t have all the answers and am still learning about this but I have kind of just decided that I am done with insecurity and feeling sorry for myself when I mess up. Like Paul says, I am not going to “arrive” until I get to heaven, and until then I just press on toward the upward call of Christ. I also think that that is easier when we get ourselves out of the way and walk in the same way that Jesus walked, because as he is in the world so are we (1 John 4:17).

      Long answer, hope it clarifies…

      1. betharoberts · ·

        Yeah, that’s good. I just think for myself I need to figure out who I am really am more. Ha.

      2. Ask God! He’ll tell you. From my perspective, you are unique, funny, outgoing, a loyal friend, beautiful and witty. Those are just some things that make up “Bethany”:)

      3. Ah, one more thought. There is a distinction between personality and character. Your character (or “persona” as Graham Cooke calls it) finds its identity in Christ through the Holy Spirit, and your personality has to do with who God made you to be. Be confident in both. But it definitely takes some living to find out what your personality is, and add that in with finding out your passions and giftings… There’s a lot to process :) but since you are secure in Christ you don’t have to worry about it all. In my experience different facets of my personality are still unfolding. But my identity is in my persona, not my personality. I think Graham Cooke says that. He also says to ask God how heaven sees you…. Good stuff!!!!

        Okay, can you tell I am passionate about this? Haha :)

  3. betharoberts · · Reply

    That’s helpful. Hhaha, I think it’s a good thing to be passionate about. It’s something that I feel like God is really pounding into me as well. But, it’s also a hard and complex lesson to learn. Which is kinda weird… cause it’s simple. Haha.

  4. Great post, I found you by looking for the tag ‘Christ in me’ cheers Graeme

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