Dreaming and Doing in Invisible Seasons

I am a dreamer. I love imagining the future. What Arden will become… What I will accomplish… What the house will look like when it’s done… Where our family will live in ten years… And the list goes on.

I am a doer. Wanna get me excited? Talk with me about an opportunity to start something, to be on the cutting edge of something new and exciting, to pioneer something that I am passionate about. Nothing aggravates me more than just talking about something and not actually doing it. Nothing.

College was an exciting time for me to explore passions, start something new, and live in a place of high capacity.

But now?

I am living in a seemingly invisible and low-capacity season, where many days I am at home and I don’t have a car and Arden is napping or I need to feed him. So at home I remain. Guess I’ll check Instagram one more time to see if anyone is doing anything exciting.

But I am learning to be fully here in the present, fully where I am.

I’m learning that being a dreamer and a doer does not necessarily have to be antithetical to my life right now. That seeing the Kingdom of Heaven invade earth and finally living out the great commission don’t necessarily mean living fast-paced and either in a place of widespread influence or in another country. My voice is not heard by many. But I have to believe that’s okay.

Because if the only thing that marked an influential and productive life was how known you are by others… Well, I don’t want to live with that kind of pressure.

Because maybe being known by God is all that really matters. That when I meet Jesus face to face he will determine whether I enter into his rest by whether I was known by just the One.

I struggle with this… I really do. With the desire to be known and be an influence. To lead worship in front of hundreds or thousands. To write a book. To have more than three readers of my blog.

I’m being very open with you.

But there’s just something about fully embracing this season. About being shaped and refined by the Word of The Lord.

I guess what I am trying to say is that right now for me, caring for a baby is good and holy. And intentionality makes all the difference. And, goodness, am I learning that loving God and abiding in him is all. That truth is still rocking me and sifting my intentions and searching my heart and changing my thought patterns.

Invisibility is not always a bad thing. Maybe Jesus felt invisible during those years about which the Bible is quiet, when he was working as a carpenter…

I can still be “invisible” and allow the Lord to store up dreams in my heart in the secret place. I can be trapped in my house and still have feet fitted with readiness of the gospel of peace. I can pray. I can love. I can become a more excellent wife and mom.

And when everything else seems overwhelming, I CAN talk with my Father. And worship him. And be satisfied in him. That, I can do. All the time, wherever I am.

Because in the end, I lay my jewels and crowns at His feet. And my joy is great when I devote my life to knowing Him. Jesus, let it be!

Advertisements

6 comments

  1. triciawahlquist · · Reply

    I don’t know if you are including me in your 3 readers but I do read all of them. :-) I guess my temperment made it easier for me to stay home with babies. I always believed that what I was doing was the most important job in the world. Raising the 3 Wahlquist boys is the best thing I have done in my life! They are the 3 who I discipled who are still faithfully following Jesus! You are raising the next generation of Christ followers! BIG job, IMPORTANT job, CRITICAL job!

    Love, Tricia

    1. Thanks, Tricia! That’s encouraging to hear. I feel like that a lot of the time but part of me still longs for and dreams about influencing many one day. I need that reminder daily… God has put me in this place as a mom for a reason and it is so important!!

  2. I read all of your blogs, too! I love them! I have always loved reading your writing :)

    I’m definitely not in the same place as you as far as being a mommy goes, but I often feel the same way. Not having a job can be so discouraging at times and I often ask myself, “what did I even do today??”

    I definitely share your feelings of doing and dreaming as well!

    This post really encouraged me, especially because you are one of the people I really look up to…so at least you’re influencing me? :)

    1. Erin – thanks!! Yeah, I definitely felt this way in that in between time. When I was graduated but wasn’t a mom yet… It’s a good lesson to be content where you are in whatever season, because we can so easily long for the “next big thing”, like getting a job or being a mom or whatever.

  3. daniellewilson90 · · Reply

    I for one am thankful I’m getting to benefit from your learning experiences before I have to walk through them! I’ve longed to be a SAHM for so long, but I’m sure I’ll have a lot of the same thoughts as you as I adjust to this new season. Thanks for being so open about what the Lord is showing you! Arden and Joey are lucky boys :)

    1. Thanks Danielle! :) you are gonna rock the stay at home mom thing.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: