You know, motherhood is harder than I thought it would be. Well, “harder” may not be the right word to use… Maybe “multidimensional?” Involving more of myself–all of myself–breaking down parts of myself I didn’t even know were there. In a good way.
Perspective is everything. Some days, I feel on top of it all. Usually those are the days Arden takes a longer nap and the sink is clear in the morning. When I’m at Target walking slow with coffee in hand. Other days, I feel like I am barely staying afloat. Today was one of those days. As I was talking with Joey about it, he reminded me that I am afloat. I’m not drowning. I’m not overtaken by my circumstances. And once again I remind myself that my weakness is a gift, because when I am weak he is strong.
Each stage at Arden’s age passes so quickly. I mean, he is changing so fast! Yet I still have trouble remembering that whatever the current struggle is will indeed pass. I still often feel like I will be in the place I am in forever. Lately, the struggle has been him being sick and teething and needing to be rocked to sleep, which I have enjoyed (the rocking and comforting, that is)…except that he has also been waking up three or four times a night for several weeks now…
Well, for now I’ll just chalk up this feeling of going crazy to enough nights of interrupted sleep in a row ;).
I love my place in life. It’s just that it’s not easy.
But, really…whose life is easy? Not anyone I want to know.
The hardest things in my life have often had the greatest reward. Most often part of the reward is more refined character and closeness with the One who sustained me through it all and holds me together even as I type this.
And at the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade Arden for an infinite number of perfect sleeps. Not for one second.
Love you all,