Arden turns one in 6 days. I am thoroughly unprepared for this. I mean, the reality is that he’s not going to change much in one day. But what has been making me emotional thinking about it is the memories of those sweet sweet first days and weeks with him. Him sleeping with me in the hospital. All the joy and all the people wanting to see my baby. Being called a mom. Those days of the squirt bottle and lavender scented baths when it hurt to move but I didn’t care because all he needed was for me to cuddle and feed him. My mom staying with us for a week to help. Thinking about it all feels the way thinking about my honeymoon feels. There’s that feeling of realizing how special and sacred that time was, but also knowing it was a one-time deal. You can’t reproduce the first week of marital bliss in the mountains. You can’t reproduce experiencing motherhood for the first time when it’s just you and your baby. The feeling of wishing I could go back and experience it all one more time. But despite my nostalgic tendencies, I have learned to believe that the best truly is yet to come.
There are changes happening all around me, the good kind of changes. Spring is coming!!!! The living room is coming together and it is GLORIOUS. This time of year, toward the end of March, has been a very unique time of my life for the past four years. 2010, I started dating that one guy who was 7.5 years older than me and pursued me and stole my heart. 2011, that same guy, the love of my life, proposed to me. 2012, saw the double pink lines and found out I was pregnant for the first time. Then the miscarriage. But 2013, a year to the day after that all happened, I birthed my first child and it was an amazing kind of redemption that only God can make happen.
What does this year hold? I have no idea! I do know that I’m all the sudden going to have a toddler. (What is up with that??) I’d be okay if nothing else significant happened on March 25/26 this time. But who knows!;)
Love you all! Hopefully I can pull it together in a week’s time to write Arden’s one year post…