Well, here we are. The part where I’m a little done with feeling like a spectacle everywhere I go. I’m a pro now at avoiding eye contact and, when that doesn’t work, answering all the questions with as much patience and enthusiasm as I can muster. May 4…yes, these are twins…girls…no, it’s actually babies #3&4…yes, we will be very busy…thank you, we are blessed. Joey even said last weekend when we were at a restaurant that he could feel the stares, too.
This is the part where I regularly groan and wince in pain doing regular activities such as getting dressed or getting in and out of the car. Where I can hardly remember what it feels like to feel normal — to not be either super nauseous, sick with some other random sickness, faint from just walking around Target, struck with countless nosebleeds at night (I get nosebleeds when pregnant for some reason), or aching from the weight and pressure of babies. The relief is going to feel so sweet.
And then again, I remind myself of the miracle of this pregnancy, something I will likely never experience again — getting to grow two babies at once. It’s amazing. In quiet moments at night when I am as comfortable as I am able to get at this point, I stare at my belly (usually while the babies are moving around like crazy) and think about how grateful I am for this miracle, soaking in the last weeks and days of pregnancy. Though the end of this pregnancy is unpleasant, I have had a strange peace about it all. Maybe it’s the perspective of this being my third round in the third trimester, or maybe it’s because I don’t feel quite ready yet for them to come. But I haven’t felt frantic or impatient. The main stresses haven’t been the babies but rather not being able to just lay down all day because of my munchkins, and the toll it takes on my body.
Maybe it’s all the support I am surrounded with–family, friends and even acquaintances going out of their way to spend their resources and time to bless us. Maybe it’s the sheer knowledge that everything is about to change. For months and months all I’ve known is this pregnancy, countless appointments, surviving at home with the kids. The months before that, all I knew was moving and getting settled back in Houston…and surviving at home with the kids.
The months to come hold so many new joys and challenges. I’m excited, I’m nervous, and I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready. But here they come.
So for now I’ll enjoy my leisurely nights and (mostly) uninterrupted sleep. Because it’s going to be a while. :)